MERRY CHOKEMAS
by Hinurans'girlychick66
Summary: o god ...just o god...that is the summary...screw my friends...ban and mel...food screwing...lemon...filth...awful


With the sounds of birds chirping being the only noise in the tavern, the bar was so eerily silent in the morning and it made it the perfect time for some early baking. No one would be awake for hours to distract himself from cooking so Meliodas stands alone in the kitchen. He sticks his tongue out of his mouth as he focuses on the Christmas cake before him. It was Christmas eve and though nobody asked or wanted him to, he was still going to try to make something yummy for once danm it.

"What could I put in here to make it better tho? Hmmmmm? O good morning to you to buddy." Meliodas grinned as he looked at his growing erection. A brilliant thought crossed his mind as he began softly stroking himself. He lowered his pants and took his girthy erection in his hands.

"C….CAP'N WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" He heard someone holler for him and he quickly spins to shush them from waking everyone. His eyes finally adjusted to see that it was Ban and immediately he relaxed.

"Oh good morning Ban." He replied looking at a still stunned Ban with a confused look on his face. "What's up, everything ok?" He questioned as he noticed Bans face starring right at his cock. "ooooo this? Yea it got a little big so I thought I would take care of it. Plus, I was thinking I'd kill two birds with one stone and make a whipped cream with it? What do you think? Wanna help?" Meliodas rambled on as Ban felt himself being pulled reluctantly towards Mels massive dick.

'What is happening to me? Am I really gunna help him jack off right now? And then make it into a whipped cream!? I mean it doesn't sound awful, I have always wondered what cum cream tasted like and I could blame all of this on my massive hangover if I need to later.' Ban thought of excuses to make what was going to happen seem right. Ban leaned in, Meliodas still rambling, and took ahold of his cock with his lips.

"Woah!" Meliodas blurted as he pushed Bans head down further onto himself instinctively. Ban gagged in surprise, something he did not know Meliodas hated and suddenly Mel had his hands wrapped around Bans neck, suffocating him in anger as Ban licked the erection with panic, trying to escape Mels grip. The more Ban fought though the harder Mel choked. Before long Ban was moaning in fear and his hands punched the air with terror until one connected with the young demon's face. Mel released Ban and Ban removed himself from Mel as fast as he could, jumping far away from the blonde boy. "O god Ban! Your neck! Fuck I'm sorry man I just didn't expect you to be so eager and then when you gagged I got so angry I must have lost control and choked you! Fuck man I'm sorry!" Meliodas worried for his friend as the man rubbed his sore neck, red finger prints imprinted all over it.

"D…don't worry about it. It was my fault I should have warned you I was gunna help with cooking. To be fully honest though….I didn't mind the choking, maybe we could try it like this though? Might be faster." Ban says as he pushes himself against the counter and pulls down his pants, presenting his ass for Meliodas to take.

"You really do want to try my whipped cum cream, don't you?" Meliodas grins as he pulls up a stool behind Ban and steps onto it, placing his cock next to the plump round ass. Just as he was about to thrust himself into Bans ass, a kitchen timer went off and Meliodas jumped down of the chair with excitement. "My turkey is done!" He exclaimed as he left Ban whimpering and begging for him to return.

"Cap'n the whipped cream." Ban cried.

"Hush hush, we will take care of that too, this turkey does have to cool before I stuff it too. I'm also making the gravy. You have a lot of work to do Ban. You better not disappoint me." Meliodas smirked, placing the turkey on the table to cool and returning to Bans ass, still bent over the counter waiting for Mels cock. He finally thrusts himself inside of Ban and a tiny moan escapes Bans lips, making Mels cock even harder, but also pissing Mel off again. He couldn't stand people who make noises during sex, so his hands made their way around Bans throat once more and he struggles not to strangle the poor guy as he fucks harder and harder. He reminded himself that he had precious whipped cream to make, so when he got close enough he flipped Ban over and forced his mouth wide open. He pulled himself out of Bans ass and shot his load into the gaping hole in bans face. "D….don't swallow that. I need it." Mel growled out before jumping off the stool to find a bowl and whisk. He came back over to Ban. "Spit." He barked and Ban complied.

"C…cap'n why are you being so short with me? I thought I was helping?" Ban hung his head low.

"You are I just can't stand how much noise you are making. Try to be quieter." Meliodas sneered whipping up the cum with some sugar and egg whites.

"Y….Yes Cap'n" Ban replied softly watching Meliodas work the cum cream. "What do we do next? Ban asked looking at the turkey with hungry eyes.

"Next is the gravy for the turkey. I'm gunna shove my cock inside of it while you play with my ass and balls. How does that sound? Since I fucked you, you can fuck me now k?" Meliodas smiled as he finished whipping the cream. He was whipping harder and harder as he spoke and accidentally he tilted the bowl to fast, causing some of the cream to splatter both of them in the faces. They both panicked and checked the bowl to see if there was still enough for their Christmas cake. Luckily it was only a little that he spilled and most was still in the bowl, but the sight of Meliodas cream covered face drove Ban a little crazy now and he was ready to fill him up with his cock as promised.

"Cap'n I think the cream is fine, why don't you put that on the cake and we can go stuff the turkey." Ban said stroking himself with a free hand.

"I think you are right." Mel agreed as he poured the cream out and frosted the cake with a nice even layer. Then he rimmed it with beautiful red strawberries before whipping his hands together and pulling the stool over to the turkey. 'Danm I hate that I'm so short, so danm embarrassing sometimes, bet Ban is laughing at me right now….' Meliodas groaned mentally as he stood on the stool and bucked his hips in and out of the turkey now. He felt Ban creep up behind him and heard the belt of his pants hit the floor. He gripped the table in anticipation, waiting for Bans hard cock to thrust itself inside of him. Ban put both hands next to Mels on the tables and forced himself inside of the demons tight ass, groaning in pleasure. Mels grip tightened on the table as his moans sent him into an angry black whole once more. His wild eyes focused on the turkey's gizzard and he took hold with both hands, squeezing in furry. 'Better this neck than Bans, I might end up killing him this time, plus I can't really reach, lucky for him.' He thought bitterly as Ban bucked and thrusted and moaned. Meliodas fumed, his anger making it too hard to cum, but then he remembered how much he loved when his balls were fondled. "B..Ban listen. I'm never gunna cum if you keep moaning for one thing and for another if you play with my cock as I fuck this turkey it might be easier, p…please?" He begged bringing excitement to rise within ban.

'The captain begging me? O this is so fucking hot!' He thought with enthusiasm as he leaned down into Meliodas ear to whisper "Keep begging me though and I'll do whatever you want." Meliodas sneered, but the feeling of bans hand on his cock was so nice and he let out a tiny moan of his own. 'Fuck! I guess I have no choice now he is making me moan!' He cursed himself in his thoughts before replying. "Y…yea ok, please fuck me Ban." Ban stroked his Cap'n softly, watching him squirm inside of the turkey as he gripped the turkeys neck harder. They fucked and moaned and begged until finally they were both cumming everywhere. Ban dripped out of Meliodas and Meliodas exploded inside of the bird's ass. Ban collapsed on top of Mel who shrugged him off and reminded them they still had a dinner to cook. They cleaned up the cum, making sure not to waste any of it and whipped it together with the juices from the bird, making a nice thick creamy gravy out of it. They then looked at each other and then at their banquet, grinning with satisfaction as they take in the sight of their fine Christmas feast. Pulling up their pants and slapping each other's asses with victory, they head upstairs to get cleaned up and wake the others. Enthusiastic to eat and be merry with their friends, but as they head down the stairs with the others, a struggled oinking causes panic to erupt in the two boys who rush down the stairs to find a pink rump starring back at them. Hawk was head first deep in all of the food.

"What the fuck is wrong with you pig! The Cap'n and I ca…" Bans shouts were interrupted with a thumb and finger that pinched his lips tightly together. "Campmn?" Ban mumbled looking down at his early morning lover. "O no sir Meliodas your beautiful feast!" Eli gasped in shock covering her mouth with her hands.

"Hawk! How could you!?" Diane snapped.

"It smelled awful so I thought you would all appreciate if I ate it for you. Plus, I saw the way Meliodas and Ban were "cooking" it and let's just say, I did you all a favor." The pig wretched, remembering the series of events from just moments ago.

"Then why the fuck would you eat all of it!?" Ban roared pulling the pig up by his ear. "Who wastes food!? Even after you two are done with it?" Hawk groaned lying down on the table with a belly full of turkey and cum.

"What exactly happened to it? What did you two do?" King glared at his companions who just gave nervous grins back at him.

"Let's just say it was full of love, and wasn't something for dumbass porkies to be eating." Meliodas glared at hawk who shivered from the Icey stare. "It's no big deal, we can go into town this year, but next year I have all sorts of new recipes to try, right Ban?" He smiled up at his friend who nodded with joy in response.

"O hell yea! I can't wait for next year!" Ban replied winking at the shorter boy and swinging an arm around his neck.

"Merry Christmas everyone!" They shouted in unison before breaking out in laughter.

"What a morning." Merlin sips her coffee on a couch nearby and the boys both shake with fear.

"Me….Merlin have you been there since this morning?" They gulp together.

"Yes…..they fucked the turkey the end. Can we go into town now….I'm starving." The whole tavern turns to look at the boys who are still locked arm and neck, but instead of joyous smiles, there is sweat filled grins.

"THIS HAPPENED LAST YEAR TOO! YOU FUCKERS!" Everyone (including Eli) screamed as they threw leftover cum filled scraps at the two boys who ran all over the kitchen dodging food particles that flew through the air.

Gowther looks at the readers and breaks the fourth wall saying "Merry Christmas to all and to all a food fucking."

"That's not how the saying goes moron!" Ban screams out as he continues to run around the kitchen.

"Merry Christmas to all, now you are all gunna die! How bout that is that better!?" The crew replies.

"NO" the boys scream back. They continue to run around the bar and before long everyone is covered in the scraps of Mel and Bans hard work, folding their arms and giving glares.

"Worst Christmas ever." They all sigh.

"Not like last year though." Meliodas grins.

"Shut up Meliodas!" They all yell and throw the last of the scraps that they can find at him.


End file.
